NEW YORK -- Much has changed about workplace and business etiquette since Emily Post was dispensing advice herself.
Post died in 1960, but her family has carried on her love of good manners through the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vermont. The latest from the Posts is a third edition of "The Etiquette Advantage in Business," released this month by William Morrow.
Great-great-granddaughter Lizzie Post said an update was needed to take into account the explosion in social media and digital communications, along with a more casual work environment in many fields.
Some highlights:
Social Media and Smartphones
When you make a mistake, 'fess up. Post recalled a recent radio show call-in question that went something like this: "'I butt-dialed all of my business contacts while on a 10-hour hike over the weekend. What do I do and is there a term other than butt-dial that I can use?' We say purse- or pocket-dial work, too, and apologize immediately using whatever communication you usually use for each contact."
Generally, she said, avoid the urge to get all loosey-goosey. Use email, private message, text and voice mail very, very carefully.
"Unless you would feel comfortable posting it on a bulletin board in your town or screaming it to everybody that you know, don't do it," Post said.
Hugs and Kisses
"I'm always surprised at how much there is of this when I'm doing business. I'm getting hugs and a kiss on the cheek as a hello. Usually it's after the very first meeting. The very first meeting is still usually a handshake."
But Post is a fan of hugs and kisses on the job after the first meeting, depending on your field. "I like feeling like I'm doing business with a person who I have a personal connection with. I know many people who want to keep professional professional and they don't want to be hugging somebody that down the line they might have to say, 'Look, we can't work with you anymore.'"
Brainstorming
Such think sessions have an etiquette all their own. Post warns against passively trying to control through rejection, where a participant brings no ideas to the table but spends the time pooh-poohing the ideas of others.
"Sure, there are going to be some ideas that you knock down for a certain reason, whether they conflict with a contract or it's nothing like what the client is going to want, that sort of thing," she said.
"But a brainstorming session needs to be the kind of open environment where you let things marinate, you let them percolate. It's one of those places where being the negative Nelly, being the person who's saying no, no, no, no all the time does not make you a team player and it does not make you smarter than everybody else. For me, that is the most annoying person to have on a team."
Working From Home
You may know exactly how you want this to go, Post said, but your friends and neighbors may have other ideas.
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"It's really important to lay boundaries with friends, lovers, neighbors. Let them know, 'This really is my work day and I do need to focus and be focused and dropping by just isn't something I can accommodate. I'd love to see you at 5.' "
Does that go for spouses, too? Is it OK for an at-office spouse to leave chores for the home-office spouse?
"No, not without talking about it first. You need to talk about it ahead of time, because that really is a work day," she said.
Post advises making a schedule and sticking to it. And she's not an advocate of staying in PJs. "Take a shower, get dressed. It's still your work day."
Creating an emergency savings fund can prevent you from relying on a credit card and going into debt when unexpected costs strike, says "Today" show financial editor Jean Chatzky. "You've got to watch it with the debt," she warns, adding that half of Americans lack emergency funds. "Lack of savings and debt go hand in hand ... an emergency cushion is insurance against debt," she says.
"Insurance is always that thing that we don't think about that we should," Chatzky says. Rental insurance and disability insurance both tend to be "chronically under-bought," but taking out policies can end up saving you from financial catastrophe, she adds. She recommends looking into policies offered through work because they can be more affordable.
Automating your retirement savings -- having money taken out of your paycheck and put into a tax-advantaged retirement account -- makes it easier to save without thinking too much about it, Chatzky says. Since many companies' automatic opt-in programs start at 3 percent of income, you might need to scale it up yourself, and Chatzky says if you do it in 2 percent increments, you might not even notice the difference.
While some people prefer to manage their money on their own, others benefit from a professional's help. "It's easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the competing expenses," says Suzanna de Baca, vice president of wealth strategies at Ameriprise Financial (AMP). "Sitting down with a financial adviser can help you understand where your expenses are and what is discretionary versus essential, and then you can create the right kind of budgeting and savings plan for you."
Kathleen Grace, a certified financial planner and author of "Prince Not So Charming," says maintaining excellent credit is important as you progress through your 30s, particularly because your credit report can play a big role when it comes to determining how much you will pay to borrow money for big expenses like a mortgage. She suggests reviewing your credit report once a year to check for errors and paying off your credit card balance in full each month.
Learning the ins and outs of income taxes, including any tax deductions and credits that might apply to you, can help you save a few hundred, or even a few thousand, dollars each year, says certified financial planner Nancy L. Anderson. Those amounts can add up over a lifetime, she adds.
This move isn't right for everyone, but it is a smart investment for many 30-somethings, says Bart Astor, author of "AARP Roadmap for the Rest of Your Life." Despite the flux in the real estate market, "it's still a good idea for a young person or family. It brings stability," he says. And over time, the investment should grow.
Many companies provide an additional 30 percent of pay in terms of employee benefits, Anderson says. Those benefits include retirement, tuition reimbursement, pretax transportation benefits, health savings accounts, employee assistance programs, wellness programs, financial planning and more. Since your company is already paying for those benefits, you can take advantage of them to help boost your own wealth.
"The single most important financial move you can make in your 30s if you have minor children is to put the time, effort and money necessary into drafting solid estate planning documents," says Tim Maurer, director of personal finance for the BAM Alliance of independent advisers. They should be written by an attorney who specializes in estate planning and include advance directives, a durable power of attorney and most importantly, a will.
You don't need to become a financial professional, but knowing your way around the stock market will help you make the right decisions for your own long-term savings and investments. Money and retirement expert Kerry Hannon recommends smartaboutmoney.org, by the National Endowment for Financial Education, for free guides on stocks, bonds and mutual funds. She also suggests taking a personal finance course at a local community college.
This decade is also the time to make slow and steady progress toward paying off any remaining student loan debts, as well as unloading any expensive credit card and other types of debt. Hannon even opted to cash in her 401(k) plan at age 30 to help pay off her credit card debt, which isn't necessarily the right choice for everyone. Still, becoming debt-free by age 40 is definitely something to celebrate.